Frost Heaves=Free Roller Coaster

In my 10 years of being a licensed driver, I can only remember two times when I was severely car sick while being the driver responsible for it.  I often get car sick riding in the back of vehicles and sometimes even as a passenger if the driver is quite….ahem….adventurous.  But you would think, with me behind the wheel and wielding all of the control, that I would not get car sick.

Well, I was wrong.  The first time was when I was driving through Bear Mountain in New York on the hilly, twisty roads.  I had probably already been on the road for 9 or 10 hours and just wanted to get home.  I didn’t really eat much of sustenance and I’m sure I was dehydrated, so thus, I felt miserable. 

The most recent case though, was today.  It happened as I was driving through Waterford and Sweden, Maine on Sweden Rd. (Maine state routes 35/37/93).  Anybody ever travel that stretch?  I’ve done it once just after a snow storm in December and vowed I wouldn’t do it again, but alas, I faithfully followed my GPS today and ended back on that stretch of road.  Did I mention, it’s been a hard winter for New England?  “Frost heaves” and “Bump” signs littered the side of the road but on Sweden Rd. specifically, I think they should have tossed out the signs and just said, “Please buckle up, keep your hands and feet inside of the vehicle…entering roller coaster ahead.”  If that road wasn’t hilly and twisty enough in the dead of summer, the frost heaves made it treacherous.  I can’t even count on my hand the number of times I had those whole life-flashes-before-your-eyes type of moments as I hit a huge bump at 40 or 45 miles per hour.  By the time I got to Fryeburg, I was not feeling super amazing but I did make it back to my apartment safely, so all is well.

It wasn’t all bad though.  The Sweden Rd. drive, as bumpy as it was, was absolutely gorgeous.  From some of the clearings, you could see a long range that stretched across the horizon that was Mount Washington along with its neighbors.  It was breathtaking.  I have friends who hike and run up hills and mountains like I was on to get views like I had, so I didn’t take it for granted.  For a girl coming from flat as a pancake south Texas, I never get tired of the beautiful scenery that abounds in New England. 

I still had three hours to drive though and as my tummy churned, my brain was processing as well.  If you know me at all, you’d know I’m not a fan of roller coasters.  Sweden Rd. was a non-profit roller coaster.  Life is also quite the roller coaster and I hate that I often find myself victim to riding the waves of life’s roller coasters.  But this got me to thinking.  The place I started on today’s roller coaster was a place I was glad to be….a safe haven….a lovely retreat….but I couldn’t stay there forever.  I had to come back to New Hampshire to continue what God has started and called me too.  There are always bumps along the way of life……low parts where you stare straight up the road of life and wonder if you’ll ever make it out of that pit…….high points where you pause and take in the sweet view…..but the journey is not through.  Onward I go, through the mountain tops and valleys.  The place I left was sweet, the journey here was hard, but to be back here is worth it. 

I can only imagine the mountains and valley’s to come in the coming months……for me, personally, as I do my best to pour into and to teach my 42 students in the coming months….for my students, as 6 of them prepare for graduation and all of them attempt to finish the year strong…..for the school, as we remain united in prayer and purpose to do Mr. B, our school director who is currently in the ICU, proud.  For all of us, as we face the unknown but all the way, knowing, that the journey will be worth it….roller coaster and all. 

The journey is hard, but when God’s in it, it’s worth it…every single step of it.  Where is life’s journey taking you, these days?

Until next time,

Joy Lynn

A bit of an Absense

Not that anybody checks this often, but just as a small update.  I moved into my own apartment a week ago today and I do not yet have internet there and my week at work has been wicked busy, thus a lack of writing has taken place.  But thank you for all the prayers in a smooth transition as I moved and have began a new chapter.  It's been pretty sweet so far having my own apartment, though I have hardly been home to enjoy home booked meals or quiet times alone.  But that'll come in time, I'm sure.

So I just wanted to let you know I did survive and have even thrived in this new chapter.  Thanks for all the support and I will be back soon.  If you want to know how to further pray, I refer you back to this blog post, where it gives my pros/cons that in reality are big prayer requests to adjust to solo living.

Have a great week ahead!

In Christ,
Joy Lynn

Running in Circles

Server error

Shut down in progress

Back at square one

Just where she started

Running in circles

Going for gold

Back at the blocks now

Time sure has flown

What was her goal then?

Did she succeed?

Here on this road

Now she can see

She was going for something

Still incomplete

Standing for nothing

She fell at his feet

Gave away everything

Nothing to lose

Kiss it goodbye now

Building a noose

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It’s not over darling

There’s still much to do

Don’t give up now

I make all things new

Give me your broken

I’ll use that too

To mold you and shape you

To a vessel for My use

Your scars may remain

But My healing shines through

They’ll speak to the world

Of what faith can do

So run to My arms now

Come and abide

I’ve pursued you so long now

So won’t you be Mine?"

-Joy Lynn Chambers

Whose Faith Follow

Hebrews 13:7 NKJV

“Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct.”

Whose faith do you follow?  For the disciples, they were led directly by the life of Jesus, Himself.  Today we have the Word of God and for those who have believed, we have the Holy Spirit living inside to instruct and guide and we do in a very real sense, make our faith our own.  But hopefully, many of us also have those role models in our lives that we can look up to, learn from and can follow.  In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul tells his followers to “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.”  Philippians 3:17 says “Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.”

I am thankful for the many figures throughout my life that have poured into me the Word of God, shared with me their life lessons, and have pointed me in Truth often without even having to say a word.  It starts at the top with my family and then builds from there with the church body and friends.  I could list off a number of women, specifically, that I look up to and learn from.  Some of them are closer to me than others.  Some of them, I have been extremely blessed to build a strong bond of friendship with and am able to be transparent with in order to learn and grow in a deep and intimate way to depend on Christ.  Some of them are simply great examples to me of what a woman of God is and testify of God’s work though their words, deeds, actions and reactions especially.  One does not have to pull someone aside for an intended purpose just to teach them life.  To see how these women face adversity, respond to situations and persistently trust God even when the path is unclear….their teaching speaks volumes to my young heart that seeks to learn and grow and become more of the woman of God, that He has called me to be.

So whose faith do you follow?

And secondly, is your faith one that others should follow? 

As a Christian school educator and long time camp staffer, I have had years of interaction with youth.  I have sought to be an example not just in the sharing of God’s Word, but even more so in living it for them.  I have tried to be transparent enough that they see that the journey is not always easy but pray that they also see that they journey is totally worth it.  My teens are watching and taking note of how faith works out practically and if it is something worth experiencing and imitating in their own lives.  That responsibility is not one I take lightly.

I can’t say I follow Christ perfectly in my life, but I am willing to walk with you so we can do it together.  Thank you to those ahead of me, whose faith I follow.  Thank you to those beside me, who walk alongside as we stride to be more like Him daily.  I pray for those who may follow me, that I may be faithful in my walk and in pointing them to Christ and not I (Galatians 2:20). 

The truth is we are all role model ………..so who/what are we leading others to?

Until next time,

In Christ,

Joy Lynn

The Next Great Adveture

In two weeks, I will have in my possession, a new set of keys.  With this set of keys lies a whole new realm of life, dreams and possibilities.  These keys will open a door to the next chapter (or section within a chapter) of my life and I’m terribly excited…….yes, terribly excited.  Both overwhelmed and underwhelmed….nervous and anxious….pros and cons…..chopping at the bit to start while praying to slow down…..a roller coaster, indeed.

Oh right….the destination, you ask?    I will soon have an apartment to call my own…..To move into, to occupy, to fill up, and to pray over and through in order to be a light in that community, that city and the world.  This is a huge step for me.  I have now lived in New Hampshire 2.75 years (I’m a math teacher….you better believe I’d be that kind of accurate) usually living in some sort of community such as a room in someone’s house that was still occupied or a camp bunking situation.  This last summer, I got to experiment with living on my own some and it had it’s up and downs (see here), but it encouraged me all the more to pursue the next step of independence or “adulthood.” 

I no longer will hear things like “When you grow up and have your own place….” and that’s pretty exciting.  I can invite people over and I will be so close to where I work and go to church, that I’ll be able to walk to both often.  It’s centrally located relatively, being close to many directions I go frequently.  It’s affordable for me in the long-term and financially feasible.  It’s a place to make and call home after being in limbo about that.

So I’ll share with you only two (you can thank me later) of my pro/con debates in my head, because they perfectly signify the battle raging inside of me. 

1.       I get my own space without having to live in direct community.  PRO: This means when I come home after a long day and I’m peopled out, I don’t have to be social if I don’t want to be. I can come home, debrief and go right to bed without entertaining anyone.  CON: This means I don’t have to be social when I really NEED to be social.  When I get into a rut, it’s pretty easy to close myself in and it will be even easier having my own cave to hide in.  SOLUTION: I am thankful for God’s timing and that this apartment move isn’t happening until now.  Though I have lived here for 2.75 years, it really has only been the last half (.5) of my stay here where I have really laid down roots, built bridges in friendship and see my in-real-life social network expand greatly beyond the confines of my classroom.  This school year specifically, for the first time ever, I’ve had to balance school planning and downtime with a legitimate social life with gatherings like game night, dinner out and mini road trips.  So as much as I could go into a cocoon, I’m hoping my network will prove strong in being able to continue to get out and connect with others.

2.       I get to live in the real world.  PRO: For the last two years, I questioned my willingness to minister.  I DO work for a Christian school and do try to minister and love on my teens daily.  But, my sheltered world was made up of the Christian family I lived with, my Christian school that I worked at, and my church that I attend. Besides that, the world was just something I brushed while passing through the line at Wal-Mart or cruising through the drive-thru.  How can I reach the world and love it, if I’m not in it somehow?  How will they see the Light shine in and through me, if I’m hiding with all the other “lights”?  So now, I’ll have the opportunity to live in a complex where I don’t know anyone else and I pray I be a light there.  CON:  I’LL BE LIVING IN THE WORLD!  AAAAAHHHHH!!!!  Haha, ok, maybe not that dramatic, but as a single woman, living on my own is a bit of a scary thought if I think too much about it.  Not having someone to miss you if you don’t come home that night or check in with as an extra safety precaution will be something that hopefully pushes me to greater reliance on God.  SOLUTION: Trust that God will protect me from harm and even if something goes down, it’s not out of His control and is still for His ultimate glory.  Also, to pray and look purposefully for opportunities to be a light there.

And at the end of the day, that’s really what this move has been all about.  Waiting on God’s perfect timing, as I’ve been on the waiting-list for this apartment for months.  Praying that He will keep me safe and secure in His arms knowing that though I may feel alone, I’m not.  Resting in His strength because I can’t do this on my own.  And trusting that not only will He be my company, but He has granted me with many blessed friendships and family ties to keep me encouraged.

Thank you to the three families that have personally hosted me in their households while I made this move and transition to making a home in New Hampshire.  Thank you to my friends that are here and far away, for your support and encouragement.  Thank you for the countless prayers and just being there to see me through.  And most of all, thank You God, for how You’ve seen this whole journey through.  I’m in awe of how my relationship with New Hampshire began, way back in January 2011, and how I came to work at this school and how You placed me in sweet families so I could grow-up some more learning from them, and now You are leading me to lay down roots and make a home.    

This is a new journey, thanks for seeing me through!

Until next time,

By His grace,

Joy Lynn

Clay in Your Hands I Will Be

Out of the dust You made me,

You breathed in me the breathe of life, (Genesis 2:7)

I was made to worship thee,

You as my husband, and I as Your wife.  (Hosea 2:16)

But You weren’t enough,

I simply needed more!

True happiness is found in stuff...

Like money, diamonds and men galore.

You watched me go and shook Your head,

“She’ll soon see in time,

Purpose is not found in the life she led,

But from I, Who lives inside.”

I was left broken and alone,

There’s no place left to go!

I have nothing to call my own,

And I sulk deeper in my pit of woe.

But in that miry clay You found me, (Psalm 40:2)

With darkness surrounding.

From my sin, I am now free,

And Your glorious light surrounds me.

Like a long lost love You take hold of me,

You vow to never let go of me.  (Hebrews 13:5)

So now I humbly plea,

That You would somehow use me.

With concentrated hands You mold me,

With tenderness You stretch me,

In the fire You strengthen me,

Clay in Your hands I will be.

And though I may never be complete, (Philippians 1:6)

The stretch marks tell the story,

Looking back at the ashtray I used to be,

To now giving God the glory.

Joy Lynn Chambers

The Dance of Faith

The Dance of Faith

**Written December 12, 2010**

Step by step, to and fro, round and round this ballroom we go.  The song is soft, my eyes are low, I watch Your feet to see where to go.

 One step at a time, we go back and forth, often forward but sometimes I get off track, 2 steps forward, one step back, and so often I trail, as we go on this dance of faith.

 Listen close, the lyrics sweet, declaring Your endless love for me.  But sometimes I slip, step on Your toes, lost my rhythm and fall down below.

 I ask for a break, "I'll sit this one out.  I'm sure there are others more skilled in this dance...well studied, well read, know the steps in their head...please go ahead, and use them instead."

 I stare at the floor.  I curse at my feet.  "Why, oh why, must you be so weak?  So torn in defeat?”  So instead...I retreat.  Give up this dance.  Give up the fight.  Declare that as the last dance and give up the life.

 But as I catch my breath, sit back and look up, there is my Faithful Partner, not willing to give up.  He washes my feet, He heals the soul/sole.  He takes my hands and pulls me close, and off again the music plays, I lean my head close and seek again to learn Your ways. 

 "Oh, my Beloved, I am sorry I'm slow.  I often lose my step and would rather just let go.  But You keep singing.  You still love me so.  You keep reaching out even when I cower low.” 

You whisper softly, "I'll never let go.  You may stumble, you may fall, but I'll be there, you know?  Trust me, my dear, for I love you so." 

 So once again, we dance the floor.  The music is playing, the lyrics are pure.  You pour out Your love on this dance floor, ministering to my heart and molding once more.  You say, "It's never too late to begin again, my dear, for I care for your heart so hear Me clear.  Though the dance is hard, and the strain is tough, I promise to never push you too much.  I promise to love you.  I promise to stay near.  I promise to never leave you, nor forsake you, so don't you fear." 

 So I begin once more, one step at a time, leaving my past and my sins behind.  I watch Your feet, I step on Your toes, so my feet will follow You, wherever You go.  And off we dance, day and night, preparing for our last dance in Heaven's delight. 

Joy Lynn Chambers

A Letter to Me

Dear Joy,

First off, I want you to know that I love you.  Though I don’t express it well, though I don’t say it often, and though I don’t think you’ll accept it as true, I know somewhere deep in the heart of Texas…..er….I mean, deep in my heart, I really do love you.  I’ve known you for years now, and look how far you have come!  Texas, New England, Canada.  I always knew you had potential to be a missionary, and I always did consider you more of a North American girl when it came to a potential mission field.  I think New England has been a beautiful fit for you.  Now bloom where you are planted, my dear!

God has great plans for you.  I know you can’t see it right now.  I know the future looks both daunting and confusing.  I know right now, it’s hard to predict what lies ahead, and it’s even harder to interpret what has already come to pass.  I know you thrive on introspection.  I see you lost in thought, having another conversation with yourself.  I look forward to the moment when you are finally able to write it all down for the world, or at least, for me to see.  Your writing is certainly your hearts language, so continue to pour that out and maybe even let the world see it.  People really can relate to you if you just let them in.

Lately we’ve been talking a lot about who you are…innately.  The real you……..dearest Joy……..I hope more of the world gets to see the real you soon.  Your considerate heart, longing to reach the wall flower much like you, brings light into the dark corners.  Your heart to share and meet others needs draws you sometimes out of bounds in enablement, but please do not lose that heart to serve and give.  Your desire to meet everyone where they are at can sometimes seem like you are wearing a mask to be accepted, but I urge you, please reach out but be transparent.  Your detail oriented mind takes abundant notes and tries to draw up a plan of action on how to build/maintain relationships with others, and though that considerateness proves well in good conversation, not offending others, and seemingly superficial friendships, I beg of you, not to confuse being a doormat for others to walk all over with being truly humble (Philippians 2:2-4).

Also, thank you for your service with those students of yours.  I understand how your job is both entertaining as well as grueling….encouraging and yet depressing.  God has called you to work with and invest in a boatload of teenagers…..it’s a HUGE job so don’t take it as a failure if you come home crying and don’t you dare try to tackle it alone! You can’t do it on your own, Joy….I know you are strong and I know you think you can, but sweetie, you simply can’t…..and God didn’t call you to anyway, so drop the cape and get back on your knees, my dear.  That’s where the real battle will be fought.  Oh, and stop trying to be everyone’s favorite…that, in fact, is not a battle worth fighting or winning. 

I know right now, you feel in flux.  You are 26 years old but feeling rather young to be an adult.  Those typical milestones of life that most of your friends are currently experiencing are absent in your life…things like having your own place, a boyfriend, a fiancé, a husband, children of your own….none of those exist in your life, but that’s ok.  Focus on what God currently has before you and pour in, my dear.  Pour in to those students, pour in to that staff, pour in to that church, pour in to those friends and families, pour in to your own blood family, pour in, Pour In, POUR IN, because there is so much you have to give!

I love you, don’t forget,

In Christ,

Joy Lynn

Letter written after watching: http://www.godvine.com/If-You-ve-Ever-Felt-Bad-About-Yourself-This-is-a-Video-You-Should-See--4476.html

Contemplate the Greatest Gift of All

Once upon a time,

In a city far away.

A baby laid all swaddled,

The only comfort…hay.

In humblest beginnings,

The Savior came to save.

Born of a virgin, Mary,

This was God’s chosen way.

He could have dropped out of Heaven,

He could rule by gavel or sword,

But instead He came as a baby,

This infant is also our Lord.

How gracious our loving Savior,

Who took on our flesh to live. 

For my sin earns a punishment I cannot pay,

But by His blood, He can forgive.

So in this Christmas season,

With every gift you get,

Contemplate the greatest gift of all,

Jesus humble birth and sin-crushing death.

-Joy Lynn Chambers

Romans 5:8 “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Have you receive this gift by faith and trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior?  If not, I hope you receive it today.  Merry Christmas y’all!

I’m Running Away

I’ve always struggled with balance, putting all my heart and effort in one thing more than all the other things life brings.  Be it my job, a particular friendship, a hobby, or academics, I’ve struggled with balance and the issue of finding purpose from those particular things.  When things were great, life was good.  When things were hard, I was depressed.  All of those things, at one time or another, have been my default mindset (what I was generally thinking about) or my easy conversation topics.  I’m not amazing at small talk, but if you wanted to talk about the thing my heart was passionate about, I could talk for hours and hours.

This time last year, my default topic was my job.  It really is my dream job.  I always knew I wanted to be a teacher and after Bible School, was introduced to the thought of Christian education.  When I did my student teaching, I had 100 students whom I enjoyed muchly, but being a public charter school, opportunities to talk about God were very limited and I knew it wasn’t the right fit for me amongst the staff.  Christian education though, opened a door to pour into students lives both academically and spiritually.  The first two years of teaching were fantastic.  If you talked to me in person, I loved talking about school.  If you followed my facebook status, they were mostly about school.  If you asked me what I did in my free time, I was preparing for school.  School, school, school.  Academically, I thought I was doing fairly well teaching students, and spiritually, I felt I was making connections, pouring in, praying for and seeing growth in my students and the school. 

This year’s school year has not quite been the same.  We’ve experienced tremendous growth.  In the upper grades (7^th-12^th) for instance, my first year we had 16 students, second year 22, and this year just over 40.  Growing pains and stretching have caused tremendous stress on the capacity of the school building, the attitudes of students and the impact that can be had in smaller settings.  I was a teenager once, so I shouldn’t at all be surprised by some of the fads, conversations, attitudes, and jokes I hear.  I shouldn’t be as broken as I am, over the brokenness of the family unit, respect towards authority, and the state of this world.  I shouldn’t throw in the towel because I know I went through that same path and in the end, things turned out better and I did indeed follow Christ. 

But remember, I left the public schools so I could make an impact for eternity.  I wasn’t as worried about test scores and high grades, as I was about the opportunity to pray with and for my students, point them to Christ and challenge them to live for Him now….not just when they grow up.  The first two years, I thought I was seeing great growth and was always so encouraged by the work God was doing in and around me.  This year, I feel like there is not as much growth.  Not in everyone anyway. ((Of course, there is a handful or so of students that I see growing leaps and bounds through all these circumstances.  I wish I was seeing that growth in me through these circumstances.))    I can still feel the sting of some conversations I’ve had with students about me in particular.  That they laugh on cue, they say all the right things knowing it’s what I want to hear but with no intention at all of doing the right thing, and that all the talk about me being impactful on their lives was a joke.  I know it’s not I that can change hearts.  I know that it has to be God and Him alone to take and mold and shape them.  I know it’s all Him.  But in my effort to make an impact and be purposeful, I’ve been left feeling useless.

So what do I do, when the going gets tough?  I run away.  But this time, it’s a different kind of running.  It’s a literal, physical running on a track, trail or treadmill.  In the month of November alone, I’ve ran/jogged/walked purposefully over 47 miles (hoping to be at 50 before the day is done).  If you have talked to me at all lately, I’m sure you know I’m running.  I’m sure you have heard about my mileage, my training program, and the goals I’ve already conquered through it.  You might have even carried on a conversation with me about how to best run in the winter, clothes to wear, and how running is just not for you, just as I used to say it was not for me.  I have friendships now where literally about the only thing I talk about is running.  I ran for the first time with people on Tuesday and it was the best experience running I’ve ever had because I was in community.  Running is great for health, focus, and goal setting.  But what am I running to?

My all consuming focus has lately been on running.  I read numerous blogs from runners.  When I go to the store, I check out their fitness section and clothing, looking for good base layers and cheap gear.  When I get up in the morning, I make sure my running stuff for the day is ready and in tow to bring to school so I can head out right after the bell rings to get a run in before the sun sets.  When I come home in the evening, I tell of my accomplishments, cough up a quarter of a lung (it used to be the whole thing so I’m making progress), drink water and wait for the water to be warm enough to shower and clean up.  I still plan for school here and there.  I still attend meetings, talk to parents, and laugh with students.  I still eat meals and sleep often enough. I go to game night and fellowship group weekly. 

My life has more diversity this year than it ever has before, which perhaps is not a bad thing.  The only thing that feels like I’m growing and advancing in though, is running.  I have now hit under a 10 minute mile a few times (athletic friends---try not to snicker at that), ran two miles non-stop and did an unofficial 5k with two friends in under 40 minutes.  Those aren’t great numbers for avid runners, but for me, it was once something only dreamed of and now possible. 

But what is the purpose??  Yay, for gaining some self confidence, better health and a potential for weight loss.  But what about for eternity?  Those reasons listed above, are all great for personal growth, but they have no weight in eternity.  God’s not going to ask me how many miles I ran on the last day of my life.  But in His throne room, I know I will reflect on what I did in the “miles” of my life. 

I am questioning if I have made a good thing, like running, an idol in my life.  If I am running just for the friends, just for the goal achievements, and just for the self satisfaction it brings, then, no matter how far I go, I won’t leave any footprints as a mark of where I’ve been or what I’ve done.  Maybe I’ve made running into a defense mechanism.  Now that I do it and immersed in it, I can talk about that instead of having to talk about deeper things.  I can talk with a smile on my face because at least I have one thing going for me, and it is something that is commendable in most people’s eyes.  You won’t find many people disappointed in someone for running.  Running brings people giving encouragement to me and being encouraged themselves sometimes.  But what if it’s all a ploy?  An evil scheme to mask reality.  What if it’s an idol, giving me false worth, when worth, value and joy can only be truly found in Christ?  What if all I am running to is self centeredness and pride?  So far, that is the fruit I am seeing, and I don’t like it, but I’m not sure what to do.  What if running isn’t the root?  What if it’s just the means that is being used to tangle me up and keep me down?  Maybe the root is my focus, and it not being on Christ and what He can and will do.  Maybe I need to cling to the potential of my students and the work being done at my school and not find my value in the product.  Maybe I should find myself on my knees more often, in pure exhaustion of the spiritual battle faced every day and let Him fight it for me.  Maybe it’s not the running that’s a bad thing, but what I am running to that I need to decide.

What are you running from? 

Until next time,

In Christ,

Joy Lynn