If You Could See

I sit alone on this wooden bridge

Thinking of what could have been

Things I wish you could taste and see

Wish you could see what’s become of me

Years have passed and I sit amiss

All these big events your presence has missed

Highlight achievements and bitter ends

The lessons I’ve learned while I make amends

You’re no longer here now

But your memory lives on

With each puddle in life I make

You are part of the waves wake

So I hold on to what’s left

Gather what’s new

Hope to make you proud

In all that I do

I stand up abruptly

The bridge lets out a sigh

At least I know

It’s not a final goodbye

-Joy Lynn

New Life in Thee

My heart is wicked beyond belief,

My spirit is weakened and headed towards defeat,

My soul is heavy and in disrepair,

My strength is drained and I’m gasping for air.

I need You, Lord, to make me whole,

Inwardly dying, I’m losing control,

I need a transplant to make it through,

You’re the only Surgeon who can make my heart new.

In order for me to live, something must die, (Romans 6:23)

Lucky for me, You laid down your life, (Romans 5:8)

On the cross You paid for my sin and shame, (Romans 4:25)

To offer reconciliation to all is why you came.  (1 Peter 3:18)

So I’m asking You, Lord, to take this broken heart,

Exchange it for one with a brand new start,

One in Your likeness and strong in grace,

One that shows faith no matter what I face. 

Give a new heart and a new spirit, I plea, (Ezekiel 36:26)

Not only to me, but to others I see,

For we all wander aimlessly without reprieve,

Until Your salvation, it sets us free.  (Romans 8: 1-3)

Please grant us, Lord, new life in Thee.

Joy Lynn

Never Going to be the Same

I think I have come to the conclusion that some things will just never be the same. For years growing up, my mother and I would go see play productions put on at the Tower Theater in the next town over. I only recall a few times actually knowing someone involved, but most of the time, it was just for the entertainment of community theater. Sometimes others would join my mom and I, but many times it was just us and a crowd of strangers soaking up the show and I loved it.

Seeing productions has never been the same and I am not sure why. The majority of the shows I attend these days are because I know someone involved in the play either on stage or behind. I certainly enjoy watching the people I care about doing something they love and cheering them on.

But still, there is a hole. I feel it in museums too. My mother was a museum soaker, and could spend hours reading each placard and oooing and awing over the most abstract pieces. I miss her zeal for life. It’s like some of my zeal died with her.

I know it’s been years and I promise not every day is hard. Just continuously learning how to walk and dance again.

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
–Anne Lamott