In two weeks, I will have in my possession, a new set of
keys. With this set of keys lies a whole
new realm of life, dreams and possibilities.
These keys will open a door to the next chapter (or section within a
chapter) of my life and I’m terribly excited…….yes, terribly excited. Both overwhelmed and underwhelmed….nervous
and anxious….pros and cons…..chopping at the bit to start while praying to slow
down…..a roller coaster, indeed.
Oh right….the destination, you ask? I
will soon have an apartment to call my own…..To move into, to occupy, to fill up,
and to pray over and through in order to be a light in that community, that
city and the world. This is a huge step
for me. I have now lived in New Hampshire
2.75 years (I’m a math teacher….you better believe I’d be that kind of
accurate) usually living in some sort of community such as a room in someone’s house that was still
occupied or a camp bunking situation.
This last summer, I got to experiment with living on my own some and it
had it’s up and downs (see here), but it encouraged me all the more to pursue the next
step of independence or “adulthood.”
I no longer will hear things like “When you grow up and have
your own place….” and that’s pretty exciting.
I can invite people over and I will be so close to where I work and go
to church, that I’ll be able to walk to both often. It’s centrally located relatively, being close
to many directions I go frequently. It’s
affordable for me in the long-term and financially feasible. It’s a place to make and call home after
being in limbo about that.
So I’ll share with you only two (you can thank me later) of
my pro/con debates in my head, because they perfectly signify the battle raging
inside of me.
1.
I get my own space without having to live in
direct community. PRO: This means when I
come home after a long day and I’m peopled out, I don’t have to be social if I
don’t want to be. I can come home, debrief and go right to bed without
entertaining anyone. CON: This means I
don’t have to be social when I really NEED to be social. When I get into a rut, it’s pretty easy to
close myself in and it will be even easier having my own cave to hide in. SOLUTION: I am thankful for God’s timing and
that this apartment move isn’t happening until now. Though I have lived here for 2.75 years, it
really has only been the last half (.5) of my stay here where I have really
laid down roots, built bridges in friendship and see my in-real-life social
network expand greatly beyond the confines of my classroom. This school year specifically, for the first
time ever, I’ve had to balance school planning and downtime with a legitimate
social life with gatherings like game night, dinner out and mini road
trips. So as much as I could go into a cocoon,
I’m hoping my network will prove strong in being able to continue to get out
and connect with others.
2.
I get to live in the real world. PRO: For the last two years, I questioned my
willingness to minister. I DO work for a
Christian school and do try to minister and love on my teens daily. But, my sheltered world was made up of the
Christian family I lived with, my Christian school that I worked at, and my
church that I attend. Besides that, the world was just something I brushed
while passing through the line at Wal-Mart or cruising through the drive-thru. How can I reach the world and love it, if I’m
not in it somehow? How will they see the
Light shine in and through me, if I’m hiding with all the other “lights”? So now, I’ll have the opportunity to live in
a complex where I don’t know anyone else and I pray I be a light there. CON: I’LL
BE LIVING IN THE WORLD!
AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Haha, ok, maybe
not that dramatic, but as a single woman, living on my own is a bit of a scary
thought if I think too much about it.
Not having someone to miss you if you don’t come home that night or
check in with as an extra safety precaution will be something that hopefully
pushes me to greater reliance on God. SOLUTION:
Trust that God will protect me from harm and even if something goes down, it’s
not out of His control and is still for His ultimate glory. Also, to pray and look purposefully for
opportunities to be a light there.
And at the end of the day, that’s really what this move has
been all about. Waiting on God’s perfect
timing, as I’ve been on the waiting-list for this apartment for months. Praying that He will keep me safe and secure
in His arms knowing that though I may feel alone, I’m not. Resting in His strength because I can’t do
this on my own. And trusting that not
only will He be my company, but He has granted me with many blessed friendships
and family ties to keep me encouraged.
Thank you to the three families that have personally hosted
me in their households while I made this move and transition to making a home
in New Hampshire. Thank you to my
friends that are here and far away, for your support and encouragement. Thank you for the countless prayers and just
being there to see me through. And most
of all, thank You God, for how You’ve seen this whole journey through. I’m in awe of how my relationship with New
Hampshire began, way back in January 2011, and how I came to work at this
school and how You placed me in sweet families so I could grow-up some more
learning from them, and now You are leading me to lay down roots and make a
home.
This is a new journey, thanks for seeing me through!
Until next time,
By His grace,
Joy Lynn
