My Story, for God's Glory

I had the great privilege of growing up in a Christian home in the depths of deep south Texas.  Both my parents were very active in our church and I was plugged in to many of the activities going on there.  At seven, I went to a Vacation Bible School and the bible lesson was about how because of our sin, we are separated from God and can't go to heaven, but because of God's love, He sent Jesus to take the punishment of our sin because we couldn't pay it ourselves.  It was by Jesus' blood and only by His blood that we could have our sins forgiven. I can remember being convicted about the wrong I had done and being terrified of the fact that without Christ we would go to hell so in a terrified state, I talked with my aunt who was the Bible teacher that week about how to trust Christ as my Savior.

I guess I didn’t really struggle with assurance of my salvation, because I can remember the next day, I got in a fight with my next door neighbor and he threatened to go get his pocket knife and I said I wasn’t scared to die because I knew I was going to Heaven.  That being said, when he took off for his room, I took off over the fence to the safety of my own home until things cooled down some.  Don’t you worry though; me and my buddy across the fence were friends well beyond this occurrence. 

Through my elementary, middle and high school years, I would say I wore a variety of masks.  The situation I was in dictated how I was allowed to act.  At church I was the good little girl.  At home my sole goal was to make my parents proud.  At school, I wanted to be cool but not in a way that would get me in serious trouble….just cool enough to stay under most people’s radar.  I didn’t get in too much trouble publicly but God knows how much shame and sin was manifested in my life during those years.

At 16, my mom very suddenly passed away.  I was in shock but I wore the cool, calm and collected mask those days.  I tried to be strong and fight on even though inwardly, I was slipping into a death spiral.  My mother’s death left a huge void in my life and I tried many things to try to fill that hole but none were suffice.

At nearly 18 years old and in the last few months of my senior year, an opportunity was presented to me to attend a Spring Camp that my church had been doing for years.  Growing up, I knew about the camp but I was too much of a momma’s girl to go without her but now, almost 18 years old, I went.  My counselor was a 19 year old young woman from northern Maine.  She grew up with a Child Evangelism Fellowship® background and used her years of training to reach out to me even though I can imagine how closed and walled off I was at the time. 

Through the many people involved in that week of camp, God made me realize that back when I was seven, I may have received my ticket to Heaven, but I didn’t let the Holy Spirit that resided in me have any control or much impact in my own life.  All along, God was trying to fill that hole in my heart from within but I was looking elsewhere to things that can never fully satisfy.  It was then, that I’d say I made my faith my own and my real walk with Christ began.

After graduating from high school (2005), I attended a four year university in which I earned a Bachelor’s degree for Social Studies Composite and was certified to teach Social Studies in Texas (2009).  Meanwhile, during these four years, I became more active in my church and in student ministry groups on campus.  I also began working summers with CEF® of Maine in 2007. 

After college, God led me to spend a year at a Bible institute in New Brunswick, Canada.  It was in this year that God clarified the call He has on my life.  I knew I wanted to teach and I loved my year student teaching but as I reflected, the impact I was able to have on my student’s lives was very low.  Yay, they all passed their state standardized test with flying colors but what was that going to matter in 10 to 20 years?  Absolutely nothing.  They went through so much in their lives from depression to drugs to thoughts of suicide and because I was in a public/charter school setting, my hands were tied as to how much I could share.  I could pray certainly but I could not offer them true hope.  So after my year in Bible school, I was introduced to the idea of being able to teach at a private Christian school, where I could teach history but infuse it with His Story throughout the year, and pray openly, speak honestly and pour in to my students as God allowed.

It took a year of waiting and learning while God kept me in the valley to teach me, mold me, shape me and heal me of much of the past in order to prepare me to leave my home in Texas with minimal emotionally damaged strings attached.  By January of 2011, a guy I went to school with in Canada was contacting me on facebook about a Christian school he was working at in New Hampshire with his family and asked if I’d be interested in teaching there.

In a way only God could orchestrate, I moved to New Hampshire in May of 2011 where I have been wearing many academic/athletic/club hats.  I will be beginning my fourth year teaching here soon and I am looking forward to a new year.  The school has steadily grown in attendance since I arrived and God has blessed and worked in tremendous ways here.  Though to the world at large, what I do might not be called a missionary, for right now, this is my mission field and I love it.

To be honest though, I can’t give you a really clear picture of what I see for myself in 10, 5 or even next year.  I feel like life is in transition and I can’t explain all that means but I am trying to be ready to follow as He leads, wherever that may be.  What I would like to see in the time to come is that my walk and faith in Christ grows stronger, that my heart and eyes become more in tuned to His and that He continues to mold and shape my life into a vessel for His continued use. 

What’s your story?  Any questions about mine?

Until next time,

In Christ,

Joy

Shout out to  Beka at Sunshine to the Square Inch as I was inspired to write this post after she shared her testimony on her blog.