Have you ever heard of the term “love tank”? It’s a descriptive term for one’s heart being a figurative gas tank of sorts. Moments of happiness and joy make the tank rise closer to “contentment” and may come in the form of gifts, quality time spent with a love one, affirming words, generous acts of services or cuddling. The list truly is endless and the input quantity really varies from person to person. But the tank also drains energy through the day, minute by minute, breath by breath.
I’ve been guilty of using this phrase in the past but just recently I got to thinking and realized….my love tank is a stinking bottomless pit. Edward Welch in his book, When People are Big and God is Small, says his love tank had a leak, and honestly, I find mine does too. No matter what I do or anyone else does for me, it may bring some lightness to my days, but I tend to be someone whose inputs leak out faster than they are coming in. I’m definitely an Eeyore, if you are familiar with the character from Winnie the Pooh. It’s been something by nature that as much as I’d like to rewire my brain and accept and hold more goodness in my life so that maybe my “love tank” can be closer to full, I’ve just never had that sort of lasting contentment and joy in the day to day.
The richest man in the world was once asked, “how much more money do you need to be happy with what you have?” to which he replied, “just a little more.”
The truth is, we aren’t built to find contentment in money or people or things but in God. I know that. I’ve known that. And now I wrestle with how to practically apply and live in light of that Truth. To let Him fill me up so that I can be poured out. To enjoy the gift of friendship without suffocating it. Maybe someday I’ll be able to kill the spider of dependency…. Hopefully soon.
Ephesians 3:14-19
“When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”
Joy Lynn
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